i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
