This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
