This house was built for laser tag.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
