White coat. Heels.
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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