Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
How does one acquire holy water?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
