I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I need to calm my uterus...
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
