She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize