He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Mom said you looked used
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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