I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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