I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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