Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
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