Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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