The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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