so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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