also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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