"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
