If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize