she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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