A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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