what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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