You're a womanizer and a bitch.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
