i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
