HIV tests are more positive than that guy
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
