One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
