the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
