I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
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It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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