(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
