I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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