Heybabeimwearingurpanties
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize
