i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
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