whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
