I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
How's work?
Spinning.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
