Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
