So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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