I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
