lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Yo dont text me then not text me
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
