P.S. I can't hear my feet
why do cheetos always look like penises
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
