I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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