You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
