he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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