On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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