I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
This baby is an asshole
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
