PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
