My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
