Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
