Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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