i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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