I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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