PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
