dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
