I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
