So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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