found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
