dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Blood and glitter go together right?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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