Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
