porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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