were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
