Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
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we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
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i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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