I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
