In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
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