i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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