I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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